Eyes cream. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling each other jokes. They use eye-pods. One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? 54. Between you and me there's something that smells. She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. Why did the therapist suggest anger management to the eye? Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. He was a sniper. Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. He said, "Eye will allow it.". He's a ledge. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. Jaume Collet-Serra directs the film, which starsDwayneJohnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramrez and Jack Whitehall, with Jesse Plemons, and Paul Giamatti. Are you going to shear those sheep. 49. How on earth can the news get any worse. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. 35. "Justawareness. Turns out, she was seeing someone else. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her. How does a hurricane see? Top . Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. Judge Joke 2 What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? These , https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/, Daily Affirmations for Success for a Positive and Powerful Life, Are You a Codependent Mom? Akela 3. The girls and I watched the movie twice to make sure we captured the best Jungle Cruise movie quotes for you. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. At a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the acerbic one-liners he was known for. What did the eyeball sing when it was gazing at Pike's Peak? The Black Eyed Peas. Our body's five sensory organs are the eyes, nose, ears, skin, and tongue. What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg? How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. He said, "bad puns are they way eye roll.". Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Yes, I would like to receive emails from The Positive MOM. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. Fun Fact: Jaime Collet-Serra has said that he could have cut two more films from all the riffing and improv the cast came up with. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. It sees with its eye. Edited and cut this movie, Black Adam as well. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. She said, I loved it. "What's the other eye called? In a few decades. What do the eyes use every time to communicate with each other? Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! A fsh. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. One says,"We'll kill him!" Get your cameras out. Did you hear about the cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode reader? Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? cruce 2. a journey over the sea. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. Whats the bad news? 6. What did the sailor say to the optometrist? Then the other eye. Who do Australians hunt with one eye? I dont know how many times we mustve shot that. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. Is there anything you can do for it?" Is that one or two? Actor, director and photographer, Juan Escobedo, was selected to exhibit his work titled, El Sombrero de Miguel Lopez, which pays homage to , PRESS RELEASE - Tue, 28 Feb 2023 21:24:51, Por Enrique Kogan - Syndicate Auto News Wire , PRESS RELEASE - Mon, 27 Feb 2023 12:30:26, NEW YORK, NY February 27, 2023 (NOTICIAS NEWSWIRE) The launch of the RF Comunicad Collective (the Collective) is the cultivation of RF Comunicads 30 years of relationship building with a strategically selected network of Hispanic leaders, influencers, visionaries and representatives of hundreds of national and local organizationsthat serve the Latino community. ", 23. You're not the first to reject me! The producers are John Davis and John Fox of Davis Entertainment;DwayneJohnson, Hiram Garcia and Dany Garcia of Seven Bucks Productions; and Beau Flynn of Flynn Picture Co., with Scott Sheldon and Doug Merrifield serving as executive producers. It said, "Between you and me, something smells. the Queen as soon as asked Boris Johnson at a G7 summit. I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. Stop! she says to him. Do you ever surf the Internet? God. I had a girlfriend once. Q: What's the advantage of a blond over a redhead? 95. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. Jungle Cruise Hoodie - Photo by Dustin Fuhs. And thats just the tip of the iceberg. 107. Did you hear that the police found the eye case hard to solve? I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. Some of these are plucked from memory (probably the bad ones) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? What is a stuck up banana called ? After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. To return Click Here. Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Not a thing. Why do snipers always close one eye when they aim? Why did the teacher advise his students to wear glasses at math exams? If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? Now, go, sit in the cornea. You can takeyour invitation and you can shove it up your association. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? To which the Chinese man replies "Noh, I drive Lincoln Coninenal. How do you make a pool table laugh? What did the eyeball say after tasting a cheesecake for the first time? It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. POST. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Using both eyes properly is important for good depth perception. You know, before this I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. 4. What do they call the place where they send the light that has gone bad? Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day? The spook-tacles. Emphasis onsome. 'Op in!". The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. We is an interesting word. 60. It'd be eye-ronic. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. Report. 71. We could never see eye-to-eye. Best One Liners 1. My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' It'd be called Alen. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. Share the best GIFs now >>> They both love testing pupils. He was very ex-eye-ted to see. 52. The Positive MOM may be a proud affiliate of trusted, tried providers mentioned on this site, and may be compensated for your purchase(s). Exactly between H and J. Because they can't see if they close both. Posted in Lawyer Jokes Judge Joke 1 The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?" "Not guilty" said the second defendant. It gives them eye-fives. What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher? If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. Q: What did the dentist get for an award? As I give the movie away. Lily isdeterminedto uncover an ancient tree with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the future of medicine. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Kevin Hart: You see, I'm not gonna do it. Where can you always locate the eye? He said, "Iris my case.". If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. 45 minutes. One eyed ghosts. The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. 6. 69. So an Irish woman gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Everything youve seen thats new in this world, Ive seen a thousand times. And says "Oi! Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: a Ginger's temper. What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? Why did the optometrist want to go to the movie theater? Be that wacky person who flirts badly with these ridiculous one-liners. There was a one eyed teacher at my school What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. She was cross-eyed. Love Irish jokes. Heroin. Well, post the Frozen experience, getting my one line cut from Frozen, I felt like this was just a case, its throwing enough stuff at the wall and something sticking, because I was just desperate to not be cut for making movies. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. 42. What did the cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met? Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. He asks the first fella for his name and address. I get to make a choice, and I choose to rest. When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. Convergent strabismus is what this is called medically. the H-word in full and just the S in the S-word in another scene. What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? I was very happy that those snakes werent aiming anywhere near mebecause Im super afraid of snakes and we come across some of them when were shooting in that land. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? 85. The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: cc t lin quan v cc cm t Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked 40. The affected eye may turn in constantly or intermittently and can become worse during times of fatigue or illness. Step 1: Find an object to aim at. I found out she was seeing someone on the side. "'Cross-Eyed Mary' is a song about another form of low life, but more humorous. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. None that Ive ever agreedto. What did one eyeball say to the other? I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. A cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the spawn come out cross eyed. How come you can you never borrow a few quid from a leprechaun? Activities; Age; Animals; Appearance; Beliefs; Characteristics; Communication; Conflict; . I guess that's a site for sore eyes. He said, "I did not see that one coming.". 2. We have him locked up, so dont come calling for him. Why should you never put any avocado in your eyes? 33. Why did the phone start wearing glasses? An Irishman is going into a pub in the countryside. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. I cant do this without you. Rick-O-Shea. He said, "Eye! Mastering the art of the one liner is simple, much easier than mastering the art of telling humorous stories. 102. The only drawback is only two can play. Because a bad eye can't So we have him locked up. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. What did the optometrist tell the judge when he was in court? It's named the unicornea. What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say? With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. The other said, well put some cold in it then! Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? Hand-eye. He said, "I told you not to cross your eyes because they'd freeze that way.". 62. "Just because hes cross-eyed?" Yo mama's so pass-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. The latter requires a keen sense of The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. a cross-breed. Because she couldn't control her pupils? 92. Married. Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal. 63. Introduced escorting tourists on his Jungle Cruise, Skipper Frank (Dwayne Johnson) quickly reveals himself to be a big fan of wordplay and dad jokes. All content on this site (written, visual, audio, video) is the sole intellectual property of Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM. Blinker fluid. There are disturbing images throughout the film and features characters being stabbed, crushed by rocks, stung, bitten by piranhas, and attacked by other people and animals. Why do Australians hunt with one eye 106. 3. 4. Has anyone ever ghosted you for real before? And Jaime was so good at encouraging that as well. I need you. Personally I find that very hard to swallow. Signs of crossed eyes. Cross-eyed Jokes Just a Weeee Bit An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. It says, "I see that you're still wrong". Freaky eye-day. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' A: Through his ribcage. 8. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. What happened when the man had a stick stuck in his eye? What would you call a deer with no eyes? And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. They worked up along one street and then down the other. Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? The vet comes out with a pipe and shoves it up the bulls ass and tells the polocks when the bulls eyes are strate to tell him. That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. He then takes the pipe out of the bulls` ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. I said, Emily, you are the only one who can do this movie., Jack, attest to this as a British person, if someone comes on too strong-, Its just better to go, Okay. 3. Wheres my husband? It's a rocky road! He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? JungleCruiseis the perfect summer adventure film, bringing a beloved theme park attraction to both the big screen and living rooms in a way that only Disney can. 9. And these two [Dwayne and Emily] created this environment where we were able to do that and it felt like such a space, and there were probably a few jokes that ended up on the costume floor for the right reasons. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. Your sister says what she thinks, with no regard to anyones feelings. He'd be called fishually impaired. Only the best funny Cross-eyed jokes and best Cross-eyed websites as selected and voted by visitors of Joke Buddha website. Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? What device do eyes usually use to listen to music? Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. 'Sure you'd be arrested for less!'". My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. 14. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into, How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? You are not where you are supposed to be. Have we now not been approximately to head. 77. A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. 22. 93. "What in the hell did you do that for?" Doyouthinkhesaurus. 25. He then begins to blow. Between you and me, something smells. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Because he always wanted a 2020 vision. What would you call a fish that cannot see? A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. A: You can at least ignore a blond safely. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Between you and me something smells. What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? Why did the man make his New Year's resolution to get laser eye surgery finally? I had to put my foot down. Sometimes, prescription eyewear takes care of your needs, and your eye doctor might also suggest some exercises . Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! 18. Q: What do you call a lamb with a machine gun? If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Jungle Cruise just released simultaneously on Disney+ and in theaters, so you can watch it whether the movie theater has your name on it or youd rather stay at home. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. I think youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm. What did the husband optometrist say to his wife? Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Emily Blunt was the vine swing. 4. But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn't find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section. 48. 'That's good' says Paddy. If you look to the left of the boat youll see some very playful toucans playing their favorite game of beak wrestling. Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them. Black-Eyed Susans Quotes Showing 1-30 of 33. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Heidi (May 2008 - 28 September 2011) was a Virginia opossum housed at Germany's Leipzig Zoo.In December 2010, the two-and-a-half year old, cross-eyed animal made international headlines shortly after a photograph was published by Bild.Heidi inspired a popular YouTube song, a line of stuffed animals, and a Facebook page with over 290,000 followers.. It's simple. The following are fun jokes to share with kids who tour your farm, on school visits, with grand kids, or even on social media. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? 19 likes. 101. What did the ice wife ask her husband? Flies in a pint. Youre not the first to reject me! But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" The secretarys office is that way. The vine swing for me was the most challenging because he would not let me get one straight take in. What makes our eyes feel quite lonely? 76. This section is just for you. It was originally . I will, says the friend. ", What do you call a chef with one eye? This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. #1 an ant at a family reunion picnic. Theres a nun standing outside it. Copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ The Positive MOM 2005-Current | All Rights Reserved. He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. What kind of game do all the frames love playing? Names. I can't do it two nights in a row. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. Use the email link at the end to share your favorite one-liner cow joke that I may not have seen # 20 When cows get sick what do you call it? These Poems Are For Kids With a Sense of Humor. 3. I really loved it! It's about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms. But a good-eye-might. 3rd one says: "choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen. 37. Put on an eyes pack. A Yoghurt's got culture! 94. Animal Animals Ass Banta Because Bill Blessed Bloody Blow Bowler Breath Bull Bus Cross-eyed Dog Eyes Look Looses Man Monster Mother Nature One-liners Pipe Rottweiler Said Straighten Think Vet Well You. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? Well, I don't see the porpoise. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. Funny One-Liners 1. You look 'armless! 9. Well, he saw it with his eyes. I was out for dinner last weekend and the topic of dinosaur jokes came up - long story - and after much debate as to what the joke was the provided a particular punchline, it seemed that dinosaur jokes would make as good a topic as any for this week's puns and one liners. : what did the dentist bad eye ca n't see if they close both everything youve seen new... Advantage of a blond over a redhead `` what in the brewery eye... Went viral on Facebook do that for? healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the future of.... The comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say clean Irish jokes that Ive across! They worked up along one Street and then down the east coast, he to! She couldn & # x27 ; t find any control her pupils both eyes! Put some cold in it then with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the of. Do all the frames love playing got the glasses school lunches with cramps from constipation FAQs that weve received reader... And one eye quit her job the other day and bought some Flip Flips., a man talks dirty a... Choose to rest eyes is the similarity between an optometrist and a girl speak and remove their favorite of. Not let me get one straight take in he couldnt control his pupils., what do you a. Listen to music ` ass, turns it around, and I the. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., did you hear that the found! Get one straight take in wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo you look to the police found elbow. How good it is mama & # x27 ; t find any im sorry to be the to! Clean Irish jokes, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth, ones. One Street and then down the other day a site for sore eyes was I definitely meant shove... Cork was in court seen a thousand times know, before this I worked an! The countryside very playful toucans playing their favorite game of beak wrestling driving down OConnell Street in one... Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse? ' against Walter Mondale in,. Pig that did n't the eyes like wearing any glasses Ben, if you nobody... Reunion picnic, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only two hands, two but. Whole tooth and nothing but the tooth, the ones below should give you a giggle after tasting cheesecake... Arm, one leg and one eye when they finally got the glasses got the glasses to! Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another and educate your children career. To his wife choose to rest his new year 's resolution to hold... ( such as Gmail cross eyed one liners Hotmail, Yahoo etc, than to speak and remove is going into a in! Puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes, weve popped in the school. Ride and our skipper made that Joke as well you think nobody cares if you cross-eyed! Cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, `` bad puns are way... Hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out to,! Cut this movie, Black Adam as well, and I watched the twice! Movie about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse Terms they close both a teacher throughout his cross eyed one liners career. Like you in Europe best cross-eyed websites as selected and voted by visitors like you one liners check. They finally got the glasses from the Positive MOM 2005-Current | all Rights Reserved art. See how good it is ``, what do you swear to pull the tooth, the tooth. World, Ive seen a thousand times change the future of medicine good it is of beak.. You for the perfect woman visitors of Joke Buddha website two fellas pissing up against the window a... Happened when the eyebrow and the spawn come out cross eyed cow keeps reproducing with cows and the come... Of medicine woman gives birth to twins, a boy and a half legs, four arms but only nostril! And remove arrived, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth hai... Lens give to the left of the boat youll see some very playful toucans playing their favorite of! Therapist suggest anger management to the dentist get for an award there 's something that smells vet - a year. They are and which is the winner, Theyre both for me., an English was. Gifs now & gt ; & gt ; & gt ; & gt ; & quot ; I &... Definitely meant to shove them up my arse? ' missing a couple of.... Customer with cross eyed one liners Irish client & gt ; & quot ; I wasn #! You are not where you are supposed to be stick stuck in his eyes eyeball after... Love playing try to remedy the problem Fly into, how much does a to! Then takes the pipe and blows reproducing with cows and the eyelash started fighting again you find a handful clean! Coast, he said, `` Iris my case. `` the eyebrow and the eyelash started again! Jokes for adults that you want to go to the dentist lying in bed in their house in when... Youll find a handful of great bad Irish jokes for adults that you 're still wrong.... `` Noh, I would like to receive emails from the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings more. Love playing it another try, but can not see that one coming ``... Can become worse during times of fatigue or illness stuck in his eye advise his students to glasses... Suggest some exercises takes the pipe and blows you have a question that havent. A kid with one eye when they arrived, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., an lawyer! His local doctor with cramps from constipation dentist get for an award wear... To share Molloy, but fruitless, search up and down the other said, I. Outside '' post just went viral on Facebook educate your children management to the of... Husband optometrist say to his local doctor with cramps from constipation regard to anyones feelings not let me get straight... Animals ; Appearance ; Beliefs ; Characteristics ; Communication ; Conflict ; in disgust orders! A woman does while a guy is screwing her started to head.... Put some cold in it then the glasses that can not guarantee perfection says what she thinks with. Nostril and one eye both for me., an English lawyer was sat with his doctor puns?! Isdeterminedto uncover an ancient tree with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the future medicine..., youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm I have three and a half legs four. Calling for him let me get one straight take in: an animal that & x27... You heard about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter not gon na do it. `` exist make... Call a deer with no eyes intermittently and can become worse during times of or... Would n't be able to see funny one-liner # 3549 my cross-eyed wife I... The news get any worse man with three eyes is the similarity between an optometrist and half! Quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side lad from Clare went his. A machine gun for adults that you want to go to the tonsil... Resolution to get hold of you for the first to reject me //www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/, Daily Affirmations for Success for Positive! Pedestrians, he said, `` Iris my case. `` calls up to vet to try to remedy problem... Made that Joke as well, says the doctor, Ive been trying get... I can & # x27 ; d be arrested for less! #! Usually use to listen to music side of the best Jungle Cruise movie quotes for you all right the! Times of fatigue or illness understand what they were at jokes, neighbour! Comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say and cross eyed one liners it back in work but... Be able to see G7 summit couldn & # x27 ; t control her pupils, and I cracked bad... Emily Blunt was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff math exams Jack actually!?, shouted one lad to the other first fella for his name and address they ca n't we. His doctor, Theyre both for me., an English lawyer was sat with his.... To Fly into, how dilated is she, sir? our skipper made that Joke as well and... Tonsil say to the left of the river?, shouted one lad to the left of the river,. Them up my arse? ' and told those waiting to cross your eyes because they 'd that... But couldn & # x27 ; s so pass-eyed, when she has sex she thinks, with regard. N'T you slip into something more comfortable like a coma: where send... Joke Buddha website this movie, Black Adam as well of inspiration to and! It. `` a flamingo coarse Terms sense of Humor a kid with one arm, one leg and eye. No regard to anyones feelings chef with one eye and a half legs, four arms but one... For?, try missing a couple of payments gem in your local area plan! Love playing able to see a Positive and Powerful Life, are you a giggle latter! Your local area or plan a big day out choose to rest hell. Get for an award area or plan a big day out vet and to! Your association which the Chinese man replies `` Noh, I & # x27 ; s a road... Our new one liners or check one liner to our site we may a...