46 reviews. Did you ever wonder, or ever ask him, why he did what he did? Unthinkable acts. At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13, lying next to her with his hands down her underwear. I guess what I was trying to ask is, why do you think your abusers chose you instead of some other girl as a target? Do you know if it was as healing for him as it was for you? After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois. My abusers threatened me, and I believed them. Lawmakers are in the dark about this. The woman behind the bill, Erin Merryn visited Paul V. Moore High School in Central Square on Friday, making it [] CENTRAL SQUARE, N.Y. (WSYR-TV) Erin's Law its now in 37 states . Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Alaska Dispatch: Thank you for reminding us that abuse happens across all socioeconomic conditions. When people ask how I have overcome all that I have and doing what I am doing now, passing Erin's Law in 11 states, 26 introducing it and going to each capital to testify on it, I tell them all of this comes from our creator. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. COLUMBUS, Ohio - Erin Merryn, a Chicago-area resident behind an Ohio bill that would require public schools to provide age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention instruction, told a Senate. We need to start teaching kids this, she said. ", Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. Partly cloudy. She started by pulling out that little pink diary. Sunshine and a few clouds. I really open lawmakers' eyes when I share this with them. Erin Merryn is an author, activist, speaker, wife, and mom to young human children and a fur baby named Bailey. Erin Merryn is a 21-year-old college sophomore who wrote a book, "Stolen Innocence: Memoir," about her struggles after she claims she was molested by her first cousin. "It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. Erin also included the correspondence between her cousin and herself, for readers to also hear the perpetrator's side. In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Now I have somebody I love and trust abusing me," Merryn said. In Living for Today, readers find that Erin cultivated the strength to face her abuser . Her friend slept through the assault, and Merryn remained silent. Read more about Erins Law at www.erinslaw.org, or about Erin herself at www.erinmerryn.net. You didn't just tell one person. The book is titled "Stolen Innocence." (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she has found hers through the events that have occurred in her life. Merryn: I didn't expect a response back from my cousin because my letter was very harsh filled with so much anger and rage. IG: The_Cat_Named_Carrot.Ellen is Carrot's biggest fan. The founder of Erin's Law. Erins Law encourages research based curriculum, Merryn said. The voice that was silenced for so long. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? I always feared he would come back. That is just (in) America. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. I was keeping this secret with my best friend because he was also abusing her, Merryn said. Merryn: Yes. Well, something shocking happened. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. What factors came together for you to be able to not only overcome what happened, but to also thrive? [3], She graduated from Schaumburg High School in 2004[4] and earned a Bachelor of Social Work from Western Illinois University in 2008. Oh and of course my cousin's voice echoing through my head "No one will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy this family, this is our secret!" Thats precisely why she does what she does. I am a survivor. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. Through her speeches and books, Erin is an inspiration to professionals working daily to fight child abuse. But both she and her sister did tell their stories. Thinking she had finally escaped the endless sexual abuse, Merryn, the keynote speaker at the Sept. 26 luncheon, was once again sexually abused by a cousin beginning at the age of 11 at a family home in Lake Geneva. When Merryn eventually confided in Ashley about what had happened, her friend was not surprised; in fact, the scene was depressingly familiar to her. The yearly videos had educated me, so I knew to tell the stranger to keep his change. Under Erins Law, the New Jersey Commissioner of Education must provide school districts with age-appropriate sample learning activities and resources designed to implement this requirement. He knows the parts covered by his underwear and bathing suit arent for anyone to touch or see and he knows who safe people are if he ever needs help with something. When Erin Merryn was a child, she was sexually abused by two people she knew and trusted, including a family member. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erins Law. Erin wanted nothing more than to make him feel the hurt that she did. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. Victims are those who don't survive. Alaska Dispatch: You were preyed upon not once, but twice (two different abusers during different stages of childhood). It was taught every year, and when a creepy van pulled up when I was 12 having a lemonade and the man put his hand out the window asking me to take the change those lessons immediately played back in my mind. God has healed me, made me whole again, and has shown me the ability to forgive, the freedom it brings yourself, and shown me my purpose in this life, and that is to give kids the voice I didn't have. Winds WNW at 10 to 15 mph.. Merryn was as bewildered as she was frightened. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. She came to me after I had been abused for two years and told me words I never expected to hear, that she too was being abused by the same family member. But nothing prepared her for two traumatizing events that have turned Merryn, now 25, into an activist, determined to prevent the same thing from happening to other children. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. He told me, "Your goal is to convince everyone else." Are you afraid you will lose business? The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. The words of my cousin began haunting me. Ill never be abused again, its just all gonna go away.. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. "The new bill brings a mandate," Merryn said, "mandating that all (Illinois) schools--pre-school through 12th grade--must begin next fall teaching sexual-abuse prevention education in the schools." The parents can then share the information that the schools provided with anyone else in their household. Her dad singled me out during the party. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. Visit Amazon.au's Erin Merryn Page and shop for all Erin Merryn books. Merryn said the abuse only stopped because her family moved away. "I just stared at the ceiling waiting for it to end." Hes grown into quite the little man and doesnt want me near the bathroom when he showers or gets dressed and I respect that. I wanted to know why, and when I asked if he was abused, he denied it and said he abused me out of curiosity and an urge of sexuality. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. If they feel they are in danger or in an uncomfortable situation, they can call home and use the code word, something as simple as, I forgot my math homework at school. . She wasn't always successful. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. I pull out my sixth grade DARE card and tell lawmakers I knew the eight ways to say "no" to drugs and have never tried even a cigarette and I am nearly 30 years old. (2016) Consider This Self - Author and Children's Advocate. Her courage breaking her silence allowed me to take a stand for both of us and be brave and tell her we can't keep this a secret, that we have to tell our parents. I found (the) freedom and peace I had longed for. But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. Merryn now had a duty as a big sister to protect her younger sibling. House Bill 105 overwhelminglypassed the Ohio Housea year ago. She didn't want to stop visiting her friend but tried to find times when Richard wasn't around. My goal in life is to give a voice to the voiceless and put these predators out of business, she said. I went to bed night after night crying into my pillow having nightmares, and keeping my secrets locked away in my childhood diary., Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words shell never forget: Brians gross!. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Sharing those details can be difficult because as survivors, they bring us back to the place where we endured the horror. She has appeared on Oprah, Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, TLC documentary Breaking the Silence, CBS This Morning, Katie Couric, Tamaron Hall, 700 Club, and over 200 local media stations. Why is it so difficult to talk about? One thing my abusers kept telling me was that I had no proof that they were hurting me, so why would anyone believe me? Check out Erins third book, An Unimagiable Act. This book describes Erins journey across America to get Erins Law passed and resources for survivors, parents, and educators. I know that when theres one in four girls and one in six boys (being abused) Im not the only one standing in this room that this has happened to, Erin said of the statistics. Erins Law is a tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. When all you have ever been told by an abuser is to stay silent, no one will believe you, this is our secret, you learn to believe that, and (it) makes it extremely difficult to speak up about. I can spend the rest of my life hating him, or I can forgive him and do something positive about this thing that continues to be a negative thing in my life, she said. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. Then, after seven months of back-and-forths, he wrote a heartfelt apology to Erin and asking for her forgiveness, but also understanding if she couldnt forgive him. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net. Child molestation is an epidemic that needs to end now. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two daughters. Instead I am still running from Brian. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. How and when did you do it first? I also give lots of insight and resources to parents in my third book An Unimaginable Act on warning sings to look for like bed wetting, wearing extra layers of clothes, avoiding a certain person, not wanting to be around them when they had no problem before, academic changes in school, depression, withdrawal, nightmares, aggression; acting out sexually, she said. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. Erins ongoing abuse with her friends uncle was over. Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. I also tell parents don't give childrens private parts pet names. She was honored for her efforts in 2012 as one of Glamour Magazines 2012 Women of the Year. The abuse continued until she was almost 9. Two of those children were my sister and I. Illinois is the fifth state to pass Erin's Law since she took up the cause. Little did I know by moving I was getting that much closer to my next abuser. There are thousands of accused sex offenders every year who are found not guilty living in our communities. Every six minutes a child is sexually abused in the U.S. One in every 4 girls and 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the turn 18 over 90% by a family member or friend. In December 2015, President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding toschools to provide this education. Bucco introduced Erins Law (S-2145) on May 2. The case never went to trial, and Brian received some counseling, but no punishment. She is the author of Bailey, No Ordinary Cat, Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. It allowed me to go on this mission to be a face and voice for millions by letting go of hatred and instead turning pain into a purpose. It happened again after we moved away, when a cousin started abusing me in my sleep when I was 11 years old. I will fight alongside Erin and the advocates right here in our community until the day that this lifesaving legislation finally becomes law.. Merryn suffered sexual abuse by a male neighbor at ages six to eight[2] and by a teenage cousin at ages 11 to 13. Maryland is the latest state, joining the crusade last month. Alaska Dispatch: Let's talk about two words we hear a lot when covering sexual abuse stories: victim and survivor. In 2008, Erin decided to step up her efforts to protect children nationwide and started writing state legislators to ask them to pass laws requiring schools to better educate children, school employees and parents how to prevent and stop child sexual abuse. But where were the eight ways on how to "get away and tell today?" How do we lessen the control these pressures have on ourselves, our loved ones? She is the force behind passing Erin's Law across America. My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. Stolen Innocencewas published soon after. Merryn advocates for sexual abuse victims. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. We simply cannot stand by and allow these innocent kids to feel ashamed and live in fear at the hands of their abuser. A judge did sentenced her cousin to probation and counseling. 7Erin Merryn is a Woman of the Year because"She's taken her personal crusade and turned it into a public one. The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. The next day they told their parents. Here's How We Amplify It | National Children's Alliance", "Erin Merryn Fights for Law to Help Child Sexual Assault Victims", "Erin's Law: When the Abuser Is No Stranger", "State Senate Passes Erin Merryn's Law Aimed at Child Sex Abuse Prevention", "Survivor Recalls Alleged Incest in Book", "Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Gets Law Passed", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Erin_Merryn&oldid=1132623568, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 9 January 2023, at 19:15. So far 27 states have passed Erins Law since 2010. 2019 TIME USA, LLC. Erin's Law, named after Erin Merryn, has passed in 36 states and is pending in the other 14. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. By speaking up even when family is against the idea, it is freedom for a survivor and allows them to reclaim a piece of their lives back. Erin Merryn is an author (Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act), activist, and founder of Erin's Law. Erin's Law has passed in 21 states and is pending in 22 others. Innocence lost. But when it came to being sexually abused, there was nothing. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. What's your advice for sexual abuse victims who may want to come forward, but who feel the abuse is better kept secret or forgotten? After an evening of playing with Ashley's dollhouse and watching The Little Mermaid, the girls went to bed in Ashley's room. Merryn was also the owner of the viral Instagram cat, Bailey, until he died in December 2018. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. You've grown into a powerful voice who is bearing witness to the nation. Names were the only thing she changed. So before CAC's a child brought to a police station could be filled with anxiety and fear that they are in trouble. Im terribly concerned about that, said OBrien. That's where, 14 years ago, a then-13-year-old Erin Merryn first . The more I shared the more I felt heard like I was lifting this burden off me and by the way the forensic interviewer was talking to me and encouraged me she gave me the message she believed me. This went on for a month before police got involved. [5] Merryn's experiences belie the more common parental fears of "stranger danger." But then, it started happening behind closed doors at crowded family functions. Erin Merryn (Author) Format: Kindle Edition See all formats and editions Kindle $12.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $16.10 35 Used from $2.70 5 New from $12.50 Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Statistics show that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused by the age of 18. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. A place I went to with my eleven year old sister and mother. In 2014 People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world along with Oprah and Hillary Clinton. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. I will not stop until children in all 50 states are protected from sexual abuse.". Donors may not deduct contributions made to Erins Law under IRC Section 170 (c) (2). The only education I ever received about sexual abuse was when I became a victim, and the abusers threatened bad things would happen if I ever told. EN RU CN DE ES. Erin has been traveling state to state testifying to lawmakers to pass Erin's law for 7 years. The cousin used the same tactic as her first abuser telling her no one would believe her and there was no proof. The only message I got as a child came from my abusers and that was to stay silent or else, she said. So began her fight to bring this epidemic to the forefront, to push for every state to implement a prevention-oriented child sex-abuse program that teaches parents and school personnel how to recognize the signs of sexual abuse, and teaches kids from Kindergarten through twelfth grades techniques on how to also acknowledge abuse and tell a trusted adult. All rights reserved. Erin Merryn Mar 2004 - Present18 years 7 months Chicago, IL Erin is an author, writer, and activist. The legislation, "Erin Merryn's Law," (S.6182 Klein/ A.8993 Dinowitz), would require schools to make a change to their . I came from a good home, two parents, good schools, safe neighborhood, etc. How? My second abuser, my cousin, came from a family of all boys. "Alabama needs this law because just like everywhere else in America . These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. With every passing week, and with every visit, Erin gets closer to her goal. As a young child from 6 to 8 (years old), when the neighbor was abusing me, he warned me if I told anyone he would come get me; he knew where I lived. After graduating, Erin went on to earn her Masters degree in social work, but from time to time she would still consult her little pink childhood diary. Thirty-seven states have passed Erins Law and Merryn has tried three times in seven years to get the bill passed in Ohio. If someone ever does touch you in those areas, you tell immediately., Merryn suggests the books The Swimsuit Lesson and The Right Touch.. Please join Erin Merryn in her crusade to protect children from sexual abuse and donate to help her with her travel expenses today! Who were they? Erin Merryn testified Tuesday in an Ohio Senate committee about 'Erin's Law.' You will be believed.. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio SenatePrimary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. 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